On Not Taking the Easy Way Out
I know a young man – I’ll call him Jack – who has struggled all of his life. His mother is addicted to heroin, and mostly made her living as a dealer. His father left when he was born. His stepfather was big and violent. At 6 years old, he was removed from his mother’s care and began 18 years in and out of foster care and other placements. He ran away more times than he can remember.
I don’t know if Jack has ever been given an Adverse Childhood Experiences score (ACES) but I’d guess it’s a 10. That’s the highest it goes.
He managed to stay off heroin until age 18, but he’s struggled with that and with drinking since. He’s 26 now. When he’s not in jail, he’s generally without a home. He’s bright, kind, thoughtful, and funny. He says I love you easily. When he makes mistakes, he is always very sorry.
As he was one late night this spring when he showed up at our house, his face gashed and bloody. He came because he was trying not to use. He fell off a friend’s dirt bike on the way. He was very drunk, cold, and scared.
The short version of the rest of that night in Jack’s life is that he got medical care. He’s got housing for now. He’s back to trying to stay clean and sober, find a job, find a life.
It was a hard night for all of us. Before we knew it was Jack out there on our front porch, we were scared. Once we knew it was him, we spun between angry at him and worried for him and deeply sad. Later that week I said all of that – what had happened and how it felt, to a good friend. When I finished, he asked me if Jack is white. When I said yes, my friend said how ironic – he’s got all that privilege.
My friend is a white man who bends his life toward justice. The concept of white supremacy is central to his understanding of racism. An assumption of white privilege informs his response to other white men’s behaviors.
But does it apply to Jack?
Of course it does, to some extent. As far as I know, Jack’s never been profiled, or pulled over for made up reasons. Some behaviors and situations that have landed him on probation or in jail have cost young men of color their lives.
White privilege is a convenient phrase to encapsulate myriad harms, systems, and histories that benefit people who are seen as white far more often than not. But I’m not convinced that convenient responses will drive change that means more people thrive.
Against the reality of Jack’s life experience, calling the foul of white privilege lands with a thud. It does nothing to undo racism, or the wicked braids of systems, generational poverty, and trauma that strangle so many lives.
And convenient responses can make things worse. Consider the social media trend of calling out “Karens.” Linguist and social-cultural researcher Karen (she notes the irony) Stollznow writes that that stereotype is favored by some because it so quickly and sharply shines light on daily, diminishing racist harms. Naming someone a Karen, she suggests, “serves as vigilante justice in situations that are morally unjust, and occasionally even dangerous.”
Stollz now also points out that women called out in this way are usually middle-aged or older, often middle class or from a working-class background. So it’s also a gender, class, and age stereotype, targeting other marginalized groups.
Stollz now questions whether meeting one bigotry with another actually does much good, “It is convenient,” she says, “to have a memorable, shared name to categorize a recognizable type of behavior, but using names as stereotypes often renders the offenders nameless. Assigning “Karen” as a nickname grants them anonymity. Using their real names ensures that these people can be held accountable for their actions.”
Writer Emmanual Acho asks whether quick and convenient assignments of racism do any good. “I believe racism requires three things: power, privilege and prejudice,” he writes, arguing that it’s often truer to speak in terms of racial insensitivity or ignorance. Racism requires a different strategy than ignorance or insensitivity. Parsing that difference is crucial. Righteous convenience can get in the way.
I’m reminded, as I often am, of writer and activist Audre Lorde’s decades old warning: “Do not pretend to convenient beliefs” Lorde wrote, “even when they are righteous.”
Convenience is no substitute for effectiveness. Quick assessments, generalizations, and petty bigotries are not good strategies. They backfire. They steal energy from careful thinking, and considering emerging insights. They offer too easy an out.
I confess though, I have taken convenient ways out sometimes. I’ve responded with generalization. I haven’t thought things through. I do now though, as much as I possibly can, because I want liberation for the Jacks in the world, and for the Karens too. At best, they’ll join in that effort for others. Convenience won’t make that happen.
Lucinda Garthwaite, ILI Founder and Executive Director